Ottawa Sun
Published: Saturday, October 16, 2004

Too much of everything, and all over

To go with the extra $9.1 billion the feds found in their piggy bank, there was a surplus of speculation and silliness

This week we learned about the fiscal surplus, the trade surplus ... everywhere you turned, there was a surplus of this or that. And since I still have a surplus of 783 words, let's continue with this surplus motif.

* Surplus of sadness. Last week I bemoaned the fact that our local economic development gurus couldn't cobble together a brand or slogan for Ottawa and our global marketing efforts. So I challenged Sun readers to send me their suggestions. Now, with a surplus of sadness I am forced to terminate this challenge due to the surplus of non-responses received.

* Surplus of sarcasm. When it comes to marketing magic and sloganeering, Ottawa seems to be in a deficit position due to lethargy and laziness. Therefore, the winning entry goes to John Stark of Richmond, B.C., whose slogan displays a slick surplus of sarcasm. He wrote: "Ottawa -- Canada's most hated city." Take that Toronto!

* Surplus of silly speculation. How else is one to describe the silly media frenzy -- hello pack journalism -- that engulfed Parliament Hill two weeks ago with inches of column ink and hours of TV and radio speculating the fall of the Martin minority government? Everyone was so caught up in the throne speech opposition amendment drama that no one bothered to juxtapose the emerging Parliamentary drama against the backdrop of the essentials necessary to conduct a modern, 21st century political campaign.

* Surplus of simple questions not asked. Did any party have a campaign plane ready to go? Were the buses fuelled up? Were party war rooms equipped? What about hiring staff, advertising plans and the surplus of other campaign tasks to be accomplished? The answer to all these simple questions that were never asked is a resounding no.

* Surplus coverage of the surplus. Finance Minister Goodale confirmed the budget surplus for fiscal 2003-4 was $9.1 billion, five times as large as the predicted surplus of $1.9 billion.

Even though this is the seventh consecutive time that the feds have wildly overshot their surplus projections, somehow, this time, people actually noticed.

* Surplus of sage advice. It was as if the media finally discovered what most bank economists, the Canadian Taxpayers Federation (yes, my former employer), business groups and think tanks from the political right and left have all been saying for years: The Department of Finance must institute a more transparent and accurate method of revenue forecasting. And to bolster the point, we now know that the 2004-05 surplus is $4.7 billion just five months into the current fiscal ... ka-ka-ching, can you say $10 billion surplus next March?

* Surplus of scorn. Predictably and understandably, Canadians en masse are heaping scorn on the present government for the 30-year evisceration of our military capability in the aftermath of the HMCS Chicoutimi fire which claimed the young life of Lieut. Chris Saunders. And the surplus of sincere sympathy that many Canadians have expressed for the Saunders family shows that we are still a nation that can grieve together and is knit by a degree of affinity for the extended military family.

* Surplus of seasoned skepticism. Now, allow yours truly to inject a healthy surplus of seasoned skepticism into this debate. Will Canadians lament the death of Lieut. Saunders a week from now or a year from now? The decimation of the capability of our Forces and let me broaden it further, our security capability in general including human capacity, Armed Forces equipment, transportation infrastructure (all modes), and policing resources is an issue that has festered for 30 plus years. However, it is yet to become a major election issue in my 38 years on God's green Earth. Will it ever? I'll bet you the fiscal surplus it won't!

* Surplus of surprising (hardly!) sponsorship revelations. Amidst the daily machinations of question period, the Chicoutimi tragedy, the feds' overflowing bank account, the prime minister's international tour, the public service strike, etc., the Gomery inquiry into the sponsorship scandal continues apace. We now know that officials to then-Public Works Minister Alfonso Gagliano kept some extensive files on the program and that Paul Martin's office -- when he was finance minister -- inquired on at least one occasion about a sponsorship grant linked to a company tied to former Habs hockey great, Serge Savard.

* Surplus of stupidity. How else does one describe the idea floated by Capital Ward Coun. Clive Doucet (the story was broken in yesterday's Sun by Sue Sherring) that each councillor fork out $100 of their office communications budget -- and $200 from Mayor Chiarelli's coffers -- to pay for a $2,400 statue to commemorate the annual Ottawa council vs. Toronto council hockey game? If Peter Puck was around, he'd give the councillor two minutes in the sin bin for taxpayer interference. And let's throw in a game misconduct and 10-game suspension, since we have surplus penalty minutes to dispense thanks to the NHL lockout.

* Surplus of words. Something I don't have, I'm out of space, as you can tell.